Learning to love Valentine’s Day again
Those close to me know that I am not a fan of the holiday. This is directly counter to my sister, who loves it. In our family, we both had our father as our Valentine while our mom was our younger brother’s. It is a sweet tradition to ensure we feel included on a holiday about love. So why do my sister and I have such differing views on the holiday?
Chocolate -
I love chocolate as much as the next gal, but I prefer it to be made without child slave labor. However, most chocolate purchased on holidays comes from brands that do not source their chocolate ethically. If you want to learn more, I suggest you watch this clip by John Oliver or read this article by the Food Empowerment Project. This is not a secret. It has been reported and investigated by the Washington Post and many others over the last decade, and sadly, an appropriate effort has not been made by the world’s leading chocolate manufacturers to address this.
So, what to do? I avoid the main brands like the plague and often inform others of the human rights issues surrounding chocolate. So rather than buying a box of chocolate for your loved one, make them a dessert or cook dinner instead. If you do want to get them chocolate, I highly recommend you purchase from Toney’s Chocolonely or others from this list. And yes, Belize Chocolate Company is on this list, and I love stocking up each visit to stash them away while I am home in the U.S. to get me through the next few months before I return to Belize.
Green pods of cacao forming along the trunk of a cacao tree, Theobroma cacao
Flowers -
My sister and I both love receiving flowers. I love going to the local farmer’s market to get flowers, but because of the cost, I don’t often go. This year, I challenge you all to do the same: purchase your flowers from a local shop rather than the grocery store. Stop to consider where those flowers were grown, who had to work to grow those red roses, and whether that low price is worth the harm that made it possible.
The cut flower industry has also been addressed similarly to chocolate; you can learn more about the hearing from 2023 on the human rights issues resulting from the high demand for cheap flowers. I recommend this brief article on how the demands of the U.S. impact the lives of Colombians and other Central or South Americans who grow the majority of our flowers. For every bundle of blooms, how many days of greenhouse labor did a single mother making below minimum wage have to work? Did her child have to help her to meet the quota for the day? Were they exposed to agrichemicals that can lead to health defects in both the mother and child? To read more about the daily lives of the individuals who grow these flowers for us, check out this article by the Smithsonian Magazine.
A small flower of Theobroma cacao along the trunk of the tree in bloom with another bud unopened.
Flowers are beautiful, but if the efforts to produce these blooms result in the harm of other women, I find they lose much of that beauty. As a '“bee-ologist” I really think it is important to consider the plants in our landscapes and how our purchasing powers can make an impact on the lives of many others in a variety of ways. Rather than purchasing cut flowers that will wither, consider getting a potted plant or seeds that can benefit local wildlife and let the love grow. To learn more about native plants in your area, check out the work by Dr. Doug Tallamy and the Native Plant Finder site here.
I am challenging myself to learn to love the holiday again. Just in new ways, rather than the cliché consumerist traditions I have grown to dislike. I am trying to recall what made the holiday fun for me as a child. Talking with my sister the other day really helped. She reminded me that there are many forms of love, not just romantic, and there are many ways to show our love for those around us. Rather than purchasing cut flowers and chocolate from a heart-shaped box, I wanted to spread the love in other ways. So I put in the effort to think deeply about those important to me and found the list had grown a lot over the past few years. One of my love languages is acts of service, so I have been giving a lot of my time to others; supporting my peers in the graduate program, listening to undergraduates, and so much more!
Now that my partner is in the same country as I, we can spend time together. As my gift to them, I am going to cook a new recipe for us to try for dinner. This serves as a gift of a moment shared after so much time apart. We are going to stay in and relax for the day, with fresh pancakes and fruit for breakfast and good conversation to start the day right. This is also how I am showing love to myself, which I think is the most difficult expression of love for me. By taking it easy today and allowing myself to live and enjoy the moment, I am loving myself. I am often considering the future, my work that remains incomplete, and the many responsibilities, which all weigh heavily on me with each passing day. I hope you can take some time today to spread the love to those important to you and to yourself.
With love and hope,
K Brinson, Feb 14th, 2026
